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F*ck Marriage by Tarryn Fisher

“Divorce isn’t supposed to happen, but it does, and no one really knows how to deal with it. It frees you of one thing while imprisoning you with a thousand others. Life isn’t even remotely fair.”

Romance books are sometimes hard to categorize. You have those that are simple, cliche and cute to read when you're in a mood for a little saving, you also have those that rip your heart our and heal you and make you ponder about love, relationships, and romance. Tarryn Fisher has a way of combining the sweet, melodic characters we like to read about with a complexity of stories that create depth and meaning to the words in her book. She creates a world of turmoil, off reality and hardship within her pages. She makes you grip the pages and come out aware of how romance really works, how relationships really develop and mostly creates these amazing, complex characters that are real. Characters that make mistakes, that are stupid and sometimes a bit mean, characters that embody what it is to be human. This is how you create a romance book, by coping with the taboos that some humans don't want to talk or read about. It is about taking those taboos and those hard topics and making them beautiful. Tarryn Fisher is one of those authors that writes with her heart and that is extremely evident in F*ck Marriage.

"The war for love is fought by saying: You’re the one I want, you’re the one I need, you’re the one I’ll fight to keep. Neither of us fought."

F*ck Marriage is a story of a failed marriage and revenge and finding yourself after all the damage has been done. Our main character, Billy Tarrow comes back to New York after her ex husband Woods cheated on her and left her for a younger woman (Pearl, who also worked for her). In her spite and hurt she moves to Seattle, loses weight, and after two years of longing she is ready to come back to the town she loves and the man who broke her heart. This time with a new name and a calloused heart, she comes face to face with the girl she left behind. Woods' best friend Satcher has always adored Billy and as she arrives to New York, and as he has always done, he sets out to help her. Giving her a job in her old company she is ready to settle in, however leaving her past behind is not that easy. She begins this hurtful revenge plan against Woods and Pearl, however in the way of her revenge path she starts having feelings for Satcher. Things aren't as simple though because she then realizes her best friend Julia, who has been in Brazil for the past months and allowed Billy to live in her house, was actually Satcher's girlfriend. When she comes back trying to mend the relationship with the man she loved, Billy realizes she has to again stop being with the one she wants to let others have her happy ending.

The story continues as Billy tries to find herself and distances herself from the both men in her life who have always tied her down, Woods and Satcher. Many people criticized this part of the story. As Satcher ended things with Jules to try and start a relationship with Billy, she finds Woods apologizing to her and the couple gripped in a very meaningful embrace. Instead of running after Satcher, because of fear Billy decides to try again with Woods even after all the hurt he caused her and even after knowing her heart belongs to Satcher. She eventually (in the day of her wedding day) realizes her mistake and runs to the love of her life before committing herself again to the wrong man.

I understand why people don't like that part, however it kind of felt real. Billy came to get revenge on her ex husband by making him see what he lost and she does that. Her decided to marry him again just shows the reality of how human's are and how sometimes opening up to someone new is way harder than going through the same battles with the same person. Opening up to someone new is going through different battles and different arguments, it is learning the good things and having to endure the bad things of another person and that is hard. That is why people go back to their exes all the time. With the hurt that Billy endured I understand why she would choose Woods and I found it was relevant to her development as a character to do just that. Thankfully she does realize before it's too late where her heart has always been.

This story impressed me. The way it was written amazed me and gripped my heart. It was sad, it made me nervous as I was reading it. I had a feeling that I wanted to cry thought out all the story because that is how poignant Tarryn Fisher's writing is. If you haven't read her stories GO DO IT NOW.

“He taught me love, and then inevitably, he taught me loss.”

--- 5 stars ---